‘Shades of grey.’ Now why did that just pop into my head like that? Strange things - words and phrases. Sometimes one says something, means something and then only later does it take on new meaning.

Like that time I accompanied Vincent to my very first Winterfest. I will never forget that time, as I will never forget all the other times I have shared with him since. I can hear him now, ‘Will you let me walk you through the darkness, Catherine?’ And my reply, ‘There is no darkness, Vincent when I am with you.’

It was true, still is. When Vincent is with me even the shadows appear bright. In fact as corny as it may sound there are no shadows when Vincent is with me, no shades of grey baring down upon me because quite simply Vincent brings such light to my life, and more besides. If I were to describe our relationship I would have to say that I am as a flower only able to grow beneath his light. Without him, I am sure I would wither and die.

When I said those words though, I had no way of knowing until later, much later how often they would ring true. And how applicable they became turned vice versa, because I know now that I too became the light in Vincent’s life, except for one fact, one very important fact, and try as I might I cannot seem to eradicate the darkest place of all…and it is, I have to admit even to myself…a hurdle I am finding increasingly difficult to pull down. Simply, the darkest place of all is the darkness within the man that I love. Nothing I do or say will convince him that he is the very personification of what man is all about. Simply he cannot comprehend how one…I laugh here…(for Vincent says I am beautiful…he is the beautiful one)…one as beautiful as me can bare to even consider a relationship with someone as grotesque as he. How I bulk at that word, ‘grotesque’ it is to me and to those that love Vincent as far along the spectrum as a word could ever be when it comes to describing him. Still I have come to learn that it is very real to Vincent and it is taking all my love and all my patience to make him see what I see, that he is a unique and decidedly handsome man… one that is exceedingly desirable…and remarkably sexy…mmm…

Where was I? Oh yes, (giggle) I was lost in my most favourite daydream…mmm Vincent.

I don’t know…sometimes I wonder if I am making any headway at all…although I have to admit that I have stumbled upon the fact that Vincent will consider something seriously when a comparison is set before him.

That is why I have such great hopes for this weekend. Mainly Sunday. It will be Valentine’s Day and on such a romantic occasion there is something I would like him to consider.

Vincent sincerely believes that darkness has no place with light. Yet he also believes that there is black and there is white but there are no shades of grey. Things are what they are and there is no mellowing and certainly no room for merging one into another. A lot like ‘let your yes mean yes and your no mean no’. No room for being indecisive. Nothing in-between. True, I’ll accept that, but I’ve given this a great deal of thought, and have decided that Vincent is missing something. Something so important that if only I can get him to ‘see’ it, it will change everything he has ever believed in. More importantly, I hope, it will help him to see how harmonious we can be together, that even though we are ‘different’ we are still the same since we each have a heart that beats for the other and we each have a part to play in the symphony of life.

That’s my theory anyway, I only hope and pray that it works.

There’s going to be a concert in the park on Sunday. That too will endorse what I intend to say. I’ve thought about this all week, and I know my lines off by heart. Still it’ll do no harm to go through them again. And since Mouse has already installed a grand piano …huh by piece meal (giggle)…Vincent well knows the workings of a keyboard. I also have the experience of Rolly (God bless him) to use. Dear Rolly, he made such beautiful music…such intense harmony…and all from two little keys…in effect…if you look at it metaphorically speaking…two little keys…ebony and ivory…dark and light…living together in perfect harmony.

Simple huh?

If so simple, why does my heart hammer so painfully against my ribs…why am I so nervous…so excited…so, so…oh I just wish it were Sunday already.

Oh, I can picture it now.

‘Vincent, you know how you are always maintaining that we are too different, that a relationship between us would be simply impossible…well…

Or should I say… Vincent, I want you to imagine a keyboard…what do you see…isn’t it amazing how something so dark like this ebony key and something so light as this ivory one can bring forth such harmony when they work toward the same goal…when they play in such perfect harmony…’

Together…

Oh yes, together, that’s how I wish it to be…Vincent can keep his belief in his darkness, so long as he also keeps his belief that I am the light…so long as he understands that there is no darkness without light…so long as he accepts that he is the ebony and I am the ivory and together we can make the most perfect harmony…and the most wonderful music…

Together…

Yes together…just as the words of the song insist…

‘Ebony and ivory, live together in perfect harmony, side by side on my piano keyboard, so then why can’t we?’

Exactly…so then Vincent…why can’t we?